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And they are right! If you wish, have a baby! A baby is a blessing no matter what the circumstances are. They are a bundle of joy and MORE! Sadly, more is the part that nobody seems to know how to unpack. We try to unpack that on this blog.

During my pregnancy, I was told how the moment the nurse hands over the baby to me, I would completely be smitten and in love. True, the love was there. However, no one could have prepared me for the task at hand. The truth is, being a parent is a big task. It’s exciting and beautiful; also frustrating and challenging, especially during those first few months. The days are a blur of shock and excitement. You are a little lost, not knowing what you are doing most of the time. There are things that you will learn the hard way, and here, we share some of those.

1. Giving birth is long and messy

Although different for everybody, the birthing processes can take a long time. Those scenes we see in movies were the water breaks, and you calmly announce “it’s happening baby” rarely happen in real life. I was in labour for over 24 hours, and my water never broke until the Doctor had to break it upon delivery. After two days of moderate to excruciating pain, I gave birth, in what was a messy, bloody and extremely exhausting process. And nobody ever warns you about this.

2. Motherhood does not come naturally

For me, it was not love at first sight. At the very least, I could appreciate seeing a little bit of my features on her. But that was about it. I did not feel the instant bond we read about in books or see on TV. Instead, I was very anxious, which made me feel bad because I believed that love and bond are instant. It turns out that it’s common to not instantly fall in love or bond with your baby the first time. Sometimes you are riddled with anxiety, and that is very much common.

3. Breastfeeding can be challenging and painful

Breasting can be painful! Nipples crack guys…they crack, and it HURTS! Breastfeeding does not always go smoothly. Your baby might have trouble latching. Your milk supply may be low. Of course, there are ways to remedy these. But when they happen, on top of everything else, it’s really frustrating!

4. What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow

You are a few months into motherhood. You have nailed down the eating, bathing and sleeping routine. You are winning at this parenting thing…you can even squeeze in a morning run or hair appointment (because by this time, your vanity is practically begging you to show it some love!). It’s all good when all of a sudden, everything change! Out of nowhere, the baby’s sleep routine changes. Either they do not take their afternoon nap the same time they used to or they are back to sleeping for only a few hours during the night. Trust me, you are not doing anything wrong! This is very common. Experts call the sudden change in baby sleeping patterns “sleep regression”, which can occur at 4, 8, 9, 10, 12, 18 months or two years. The good news is that this usually happens because of the cognitive and physical development changes occurring during the time. Again, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. You just have to grow and adapt with the situation!

5. Your baby will love you unconditionally

Your baby will love you deeply and wholeheartedly. When you feel like you are doing a crappy job in parenting, they do not see that; they see mom/dad whom they love very much. All you have to do is love them back.

In Summary

I can go on about things nobody tells you about being a parent. In hindsight, we probably don’t share right way out of embarrassment or own suspicion that we are the worst parents ever. Whatever it is, remember that there are hundreds of moms and dads who have experienced the same thing. They came out fine, and so did their babies. So, be gentle with yourself, enjoy the journey and know that you are not CRAZY (and even if you are, who can blame you?!).